HOW TO PLAN A WEDDING IN LOCKDOWN TIMES
- A PRACTICAL GUIDE
The past year has been a teacher in many respects. It has shown us how tiny we are in this universe and the atheist of the atheist would have come to believe that there is altogether some other hand working overtime, in order to safeguard us and our plans and our priorities. The year has taught us that plan whatever or howsoever, but what has to happen will never be according to your desires or your plans.
Why am i writing this today? Because I have spent a year and a half, each month, every day, every hour, every minute and every second – making a Plan A. Then when the time nears the Plan and I find it cannot be worked out, I make a Plan B. When this plan does not look like it would work, I make yet another Plan C. Between Plan B and Plan C, I spend sleepless nights and wakeful hours by the days trying to make different plans other than the Plan B and Plan C. So on and so forth. There must have been about a lakh or more of dreams, thoughts, desires and the plans on how to fulfill them. One night I plan to take a flight to the US ( to visit my daughter and solemnize her wedding there with a handful of people) and next night the plan gets crushed by my daughter’s plan to visit India and have a function full with cousins and relatives.
The background to this topic, is that, last year we could conduct the engagement ceremony in January, 2020 between parents of the bride and bridegroom in Mumbai with few of our relatives and friends and by live streaming the event having our daughter and would-be-son-in-law (both were in US) virtually at the function. This, after about 8-9 months after the bride and the bridegroom got connected electronically in the US. The bride and bridegroom wished to visit India only once for the wedding with all their friends and relatives in attendance and thats it. Accordingly, we, parents had decided to have a small function for confirming the alliance and fixing of dates for the wedding. The wedding was fixed for August, 2020. Little did we know then that we would be facing lockdowns on account of covid-19 for a long time to come.
Come January, 2021 and the situation in Mumbai looks promising for getting together few people for a function. So we start making plans again. We print invitation cards and make daywise time table to execute our plan. March 30th,2020 our daughter and son-in-law arrive at Mumbai. Unawares of the rising covid cases, we plan each day to tick our pending job lists of shopping, tailoring, dentist visit, opthalmologist visits, beauty parlour visits etc. Meanwhile, the TV news is jarring about the impending lockdown from April 15th,2020. Already, the weekend lockdowns were in force ( our wedding dates were on a weekend- 24th & 25th saturday and sunday). We then tried to advance the dates to April 21-22 and asked the hall management to help us get permission from the local health authorities and shift the dates to weekdays. However, we got reply from them that if lockdown is declared, whether weekend or weekday,we will not be permitted to conduct weddings and the hall will not let us perform the wedding. On 12th of April, while just lazing around, we felt that since everything is in place and bride and bridegroom are present, what are we waiting for? Are we waiting for the lockdown to be declared and then run from pillar to post for permission from the local authorities? We were back to square one – talking, talking, talking and making new plans and thinking of new dates with weaker hopes as the bride & bridegroom had come to Mumbai only on a month’s leave and if we missed the April dates, the wait would have turned another year or two longer. So shifting our burden on the Almighty, we decided to go ahead with the function on 14th April,2020 i.e. was within next 40 hours. We called up the cameraman, the caterers, the decorators, the make-up artists etc. 13th of April, 2020 was gudi padwa, an auspicious day for new beginnings, we arranged for Mehendi for the bride after the noon. Few friends and local relatives had come. The hall management allowed us to enter the place in the night itself. So few of us were at the venue from the night of 13th April itself. On 14th, the wedding was conducted in a traditional manner.
Coming to the point, how to conduct the wedding the lockdown times, it is very easy. In fact, looking behind, I had wasted a lot of time making plans. The execution of it had to be in a short notice. So friends, to have a practical approach, I will try to emphasize on a few things here.
First things first, keep a list of Muhurta dates for each month for almost a year in hand for ready reference.
Book atleast 2 venues for an approximate date. Keep in touch with the hall management for any formalities in writing for permission from local authorities.
Prepare 3 types of guest lists -
• List A – 10-12 persons – only bride and bridegroom,, their parents and siblings
• List B- 20-25 persons – which will include 2-3 sumangalis from both sides
• List C 40-50 persons – people who will surely be present, if invited, friends of the bride and bridegroom and few neighbourly wellwishers.
Do not invite nor expect any outstation guests. It is a huge risk to take for them and for the host too.
Do not print hard copy invitation cards more than 25-30 numbers. Definitely speed post, wedding invitation cards to family deities and outstation relatives (who will not be able to travel any way)
Purchase all costumes, dresses, accessories, gifts and get things tailored for the bride and bridegroom well in advance as when the shops are open.
Pay in advance for photography, caterers, make-up artist, beauticians and decoraters and keep them informed to kick off the event in as short notice as 36-48 hours. That said, keep 2 credit cards and pre-decide funds from which bank account will be paid for which expenses for eg. for caterers - one credit card, for decorators or photography - another credit card etc. Extend the limit of credit cards to upto Rs.15 lakhs.
Pack Bride’s / groom’s costumes, dresses and things separately in a suitcase which will serve as all-in-one for her and pack suitcases for the other members of the family separately in advance and keep them aside. This can be done as early as the wedding gets fixed and slowly items getting collected in the respective suitcases. It will avoid duplication of packing and repacking work.
Make a checklist of things to be taken to the venue in advance especially photograhs of our beloved parents, trays, scissors for cutting flowers etc.
Last but most important. Do not panic. Keep calm. Do not take to heart any remarks or comments made by any family member. No one knows how the other person feels or how the desires of each member of the party is getting crushed one by one and slowly. Be cheerful and observe the way things are happening with the spirit of humour. The Almighty is on the job, not you.
All the best, believe in the Almighty and that whatever happens, happens for the best.
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